A-Z of Communication: Authenticity
Authenticity
It is really the essential thread that connects our true selves in meaningful communication. For me, it’s living on the outside what you truly are inside - a balance between who we are and who we aspire to be.
The dilemma is, we all want to be seen as real and genuine, but sometimes life pulls us out of our selves and self-doubt whispers that we are not enough and need to become someone else entirely.
At the heart of our being, we have a voice that tells us what is important and how to live in alignment with our values, beliefs and desires, but this inner voice can be drowned out by life. We become disconnected from our true selves and reactive to what is around us, living from a place of stress and tension. Cortisol becomes the caffeine-rush for our soul as we are swept up in external pressures, distractions, and expectations. Life is so busy with the constant demands of work, social media and relationships that we can be pulled out of our selves into inauthenticity. In this frenzied pursuit of external validation, we can be living to please and serve the voices of others rather than ourselves. In our heads how they see us becomes more important than staying true to our selves; we suppress our own needs and desires to gain the approval of acquaintances and strangers.
Why do we conform so readily to this pressure?
Often, our deep-rooted fears stem from rejection, failure or feelings of not being good enough.
The result?
An emotional labyrinth that can leave us feeling utterly exhausted, with resentment and a loss of identity; we can wake up one morning and think —“Who am I?”
The truth is we are masters of adaptation, often shaping our personalities with the borrowed colours of social expectation.
How do we fight this?
We need to cultivate the habit of listening to our inner voice; think of these moments as essential intermissions in life's relentless performance. Carving out space for relaxation and quiet time, making room for stillness and reflection, is always a good place to begin this practice.
For me, the key to mastering authentic communication is through prayer, meditation and mindfulness practices; they help calm the mind and ground me in the present moment. For you, it could be by taking even just a few minutes each day to sit in stillness and focus on your breathing, creating an opportunity to quiet external noise and connect with your true self. A client told me, today, how she has learnt to spend half an hour just sitting quietly with her thoughts, at the beginning of her day.
This practice allows us to see our thoughts objectively without judgment, helping us to distinguish between what is truly important to us and what is simply a conditioned response to external pressures.
Another practice that’s great is writing down our thoughts and feelings, as it’s a powerful way to connect with our inner voice. Journalling lets your thoughts flow freely onto the page. This isn't mere writing; it's a process of uncovering your true self- revealing hidden emotions and recognising patterns of behaviour that aren’t supporting us. Furthermore, it helps us identify when we are acting from a place of fear or reactiveness rather than authenticity. It’s also a great way to find encouragement in dark moments as you read over positive thoughts and prayers from the past, and recognise ways in which you’ve overcome challenges.
I also challenge you to think about how you begin your day. Do you immediately start scrolling through your phone, looking at your emails or social media? Perhaps there’s a better way.
I’ve found that nature is the ultimate communication coach. Step outside, first thing — it clears away any cobwebs and offers a strong sense of grounding and perspective. I walk in our local park; whether it’s walking, running, sitting by the ocean, or hiking in the mountains, being in nature has a way of calming our nervous system and reconnecting us with our true selves. In these moments of stillness, our inner voice becomes clearer, and we are better able to make choices that align with our authentic selves.
In a way, we’re a like a sailing ship - navigating life’s storms requires well-trimmed and securely fastened sails. Living an authentic life is a daily practice and requires constant effort. in other words, discipline is essential. So we must carve out our quiet time and set it up as a new habit. By prioritising it and listening to our inner voice, we break free from the cycle of stress, reactiveness, and people pleasing, which ultimately leads us to a more fulfilling and meaningful life.
Your Authenticity Toolkit
