The Pause in Leadership Communication
The past few weeks have truly shown the power of the pause in communication.
I decided to take a test drive of this myself—I took off to our wide beam canal boat for a pause of my own.
A Spring Retreat
There's something about the beginning of spring that calls for realignment. A moment to step back from the noise and ask: What's truly important?
Two days on board with some girlfriends. Walking through the beautiful countryside. Giving thanks for the start of the year. Praying into the next chapter.
And rather wonderfully, it gave me the space and stillness to finally crack open a book I'd been putting off for months: Dostoevsky's The Brothers Karamazov.
900 Pages, One Profound Truth
I won't lie—this book is not for the faint-hearted.
900+ pages. Small font. More Russian names than I could keep track of (I gave up trying to pronounce half of them correctly).
But somewhere between the canal water lapping against the boat and the endless philosophical dialogues, something clicked.
The central theme of the novel hit me like a stone thrown into still water:
Whatever we do has repercussions.
Like a stone thrown into water, everything we do—good or bad—ripples outward, creating consequences far beyond the initial act itself.
This got me thinking about leadership. About communication. About the countless small moments throughout our days when we make choices about what to say, how to say it, and whether to say anything at all.
Every email we send.
Every tone we use in a meeting.
Every offhand comment.
Every decision to speak up or stay silent.
These are all stones. And they all create ripples.
The question Dostoevsky poses—and the question I found myself sitting with on that boat—is this:
What kind of ripples are we creating?
Are we building up or tearing down?
Are we creating clarity or confusion?
Are we fostering trust or eroding it?
It Starts With You
And here's the part that made me uncomfortable: this isn't just about how we treat others.
It's equally about how we treat and talk to ourselves.
That inner dialogue—the voice that tells you you're not ready, not qualified, not enough? Those are stones too. And they create ripples that affect every interaction you have.
When you speak to yourself with criticism, it shows up in how you show up.
When you doubt yourself internally, it leaks into your external presence.
When you're harsh with yourself, you're often harsh with others—or worse, you become so conflict-averse that you avoid necessary conversations altogether.
The ripples start from within.
The Pause Isn't Passive
This is where the pause comes in—and why I keep coming back to it.
The pause isn't passive. It's not about hesitation or uncertainty.
The pause is the moment where intention is born.
It's the split second where you get to ask yourself:
What stone am I about to throw?
What ripples will this create?
Is this aligned with the leader I want to be?
Use the pause before you:
Speak in a tense meeting
Write that emotionally charged email
React to criticism or conflict
That breath, that beat, that moment of stillness—it's where you reclaim agency over the impact you make.
Consciously ask yourself:
What stones am I tossing into the water?
And what ripples are they creating?
In my conversations with clients.
In my interactions with my team.
In how I speak to myself when things don't go to plan.
I'm paying attention to the ripples. Not just the obvious ones—the big moments, the high-stakes conversations. But also the small ones. The throwaway comments. The tone I use when I'm tired. The words I choose when I'm frustrated.
Because Dostoevsky was right: it all matters. It all ripples.
