The Power of Hands

Hands

“What do I do with my hands??”

This is one of the most frequent cries we hear from our clients.

This is because when we feel nervous, our hands suddenly take on huge significance.

Under pressure, they can feel like big, self-conscious lumps stuck on the end of our arms.

We never think about how to use them when we’re feeling relaxed. I’ve never had any client ask me how they should hold them when out with their friends or with family.

But when we feel nervous strange things start to happen to them.

 

What's actually happening to your hands? 

They may start to sweat profusely or go cold - as blood flow is redirected to the vital organs and muscles which will help us escape from danger your hands will go cold, or stress can activate the sweat glands, meaning they will become clammy.

They may tremble or shake, which is because of increased adrenaline in our system as our body goes into fight/flight/freeze response, causing increased tension in our hands.

Our fingers may tingle or go numb if we shallow breathe and hyperventilate. This leads to lower carbon dioxide levels in the body, which affects our nerve function.

We may fidget and fiddle which can be when we are releasing some of the excess energy created by the adrenaline in our body, or it could be a sign of self-soothing as we create a calming gesture such as rubbing our hands together, or tapping our fingers.

We may feel the tension in our hands as we ball them into fists, ready to retaliate.

The truth is in your hands

The thing is, they are essential in our communication, not only to reinforce our words and emotions, but also because scientific studies show they are our truth indicators.

Throughout history they have been associated with honesty and trustworthiness, probably because open palms show that we are unarmed, and so offer no threat.

Conversely, liars are more likely to hide their hands by holding them behind their back, putting them in pockets, and using few gestures.

And this is the problem: when we are feeling anxious, we display behaviours with our hands that can be interpreted as untrustworthy. A listener will pick up on the nervous signals as our brains are wired to pick up on hand gestures through mirror neurons.

These help us understand others’ emotions by activating when we see them perform an action, making us feel the same emotion. So they can help us interpret the speaker’s feelings and intentions.

This means that any unnatural movement from us can trigger a subconscious sense in them that something isn’t quite right and they won’t trust us.

Hand hacks

So, this takes us back to the question: what can we do with our hands when we’re stressed?

We need to prepare them before we go into a pressurised situation.

How do we do that?

• Clench them into fists and then spread them wide, and give them a good shake, making sure we get the blood flowing into them.

• Go to the bathroom and run cold water on hands and wrists which can act as a grounding method, if we’re experiencing overwhelm, activating the parasympathetic nervous system so calming us.

• Lastly, when we’re in the room, think about making an expansive gesture, early on, as this sends a signal to the brain that we feel confident and safe, which will then set up a positive psychophysical cycle, reducing stress hormones.

What else do you do to overcome nervous hands? We’d love to hear!