Grounded: Rooted In Confidence

Grounded

I love this time of year, heading out in the mornings, in the light, and seeing the trees budding into life.

But a few weeks ago we had a very different picture.

The UK was hit by some severe storms and we lost a lot of trees; you can still see evidence of this in my local park. What’s interesting is looking at the roots of the trees that have been blown over, they tend to have quite shallow roots, that run more lateral than deep.

This reminded me of the parallel between nature and ourselves as I reflected on how we can be grounded in our communication. We too need to have deep roots so that we won’t be swayed or blown over when the storms of life come, and we need to be fed by the right things so that we can flourish.

We’ve all experienced what happens when we lose our rootedness; we’ve seen it in others around us who are reactive, anxious, or overly emotional when under pressure. It could be someone at work who frequently flies off the handle, raising their voice, and reacting emotionally to minor mistakes; or a person giving a presentation who betrays themselves by talking too fast, avoiding eye contact, and losing their train of thought; or equally it could be someone at a party who keeps talking excessively to fill the silence and shifts nervously from one foot to the other.

We recognise the signs because, chances are, we’ve felt them ourselves. We’ve had that realisation, when we’ve presented something, that we can’t remember what we’ve actually said. We’ve had that disconnect when we’ve felt as though we were floating rather than rooted to the ground. And there may be times when we’ve experienced someone talk over us, steal our ideas, or force us to back down, even when we know we are right.

These are all signs that we’re not totally grounded and need to think about our root system. Whether you’re sharing your thoughts in a meeting, having a heart-to-heart with a friend, or presenting an idea to your team, you want to be rooted in your beliefs and values as these will give you the confidence to express yourself. When you’re clear about what you stand for it’s much harder for others to sway your opinion or act disrespectfully towards your ideas.

However, a well-rooted tree doesn’t atrophy in place but bends with the wind, so we also need to be able to respond to new ideas and perspectives as we are then able to adapt, listen, and embrace change. Think about it, old trees become dry and brittle and are likely to fall down.

Equally, physically, we need to establish our presence with a mixture of strength and compassion. We want to have posture that tells others that we are confident and competent, whilst at the same time being flexible and responsive to others. Our presence needs to be rooted like a tree, upright like its trunk, and expansive like its branches.

So, let’s embrace our inner tree, nourishing ourselves with positivity and kindness so that we flourish, grounding ourselves in our convictions, and standing strong in our physicality!

Here are a few ways to ground ourselves when we feel more like an uprooted tree

• Stand Tall: Think about how you’re standing. Have your feet hip-width apart, and imagine that you have roots growing from your feet down into the earth.
• Breathe: Become aware of your breathing and slow yourself down by taking longer slower inhales and exhales.
• Stay Present: Focus on things in the room to get yourself out of your head.
• Carry a Comfort: Have something in your pocket that grounds you; it could be a note from your partner, a stone from your favourite beach- anything that makes you feel good. I use a small Lego figure that my daughter gave me.